Day 13 - LAZINESS CHARACTER - THOUGHT DIMENSION - Self Forgiveness.

''As we have walked:

Thoughts: Would manifest as only an Image/Picture/Memory – really like a ‘photograph’ in one’s Mind that is manifested with a positive, negative or neutral resonance to it, and can stand as an activation-‘chip’ for specific Characters/Personalities. (We will in time to come explain the ‘neutrality’ of/as the Mind, in how it utilize the relationships between the negative, neutral and positive within the context of Thought to see-saw us in the Mind within/between energies and energy-experiences. For the moment, we have walked the relationships between the negative, neutral and positive, from DAY 6 onwards.)

Imagination: Will manifest as a scene/play out – essentially, equal to ‘daydreaming’, where one would envision a scene/play out in one’s Mind that is the complete opposite to what one is doing/being here in actual, real physical reality.

Backchat/Internal Conversations: Will manifest as words, sentences, statements in one’s Mind that activate together with specific Characters/Personalities or sub characters/personalities''.-Sunette Spies

Prior to writing this blog, I mean literally moments before, I was experiencing lots of resistance, lots of back chats and so in this blog, I shall walk all this dimensions that I have become/exist as the Laziness Character. I play out the laziness character whenever i am faced with the point of doing self writing. Sometimes physical activities/responsibilities as well.

I am now going to deconstruct this character starting with the Thought Dimension through writing here the various pictures/images that pop up into my mind whenever am faced with the task of self writing or at times some physical activities.

• An image of myself seated on the couch watching TV/my favorite series

• An image of myself actually sitting and writing myself or doing a certain task
• An image of seeing tasks like self writing/blogging/chores as difficult and or boring as compared to entertainment.

• An image of myself browsing through the net instead of self writing

• Seeing a task as something which will take a long time to finish and hence I don't begin at all/lose interest.

• seeing myself rushing through a task so that I can go back to entertaining myself in and as mind.

• An image of myself rushing through a task  in a limited time frame hence I end up rushing in the doing of the actual task.

SELF-FORGIVENESS:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the thought as an image of myself seated on the couch watching TV/my favorite series to engage my focus instead of focusing myself in doing self writing or other tasks.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use TV or any other form 'entertainment' as an escape from myself doing that what is in fact best for all and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself/my life revolve around entertaining myself and hence leading to lots of time wasting instead of realizing and understanding that this is a mechanism that I use to remain in the laziness character and not become the change as that which is best for all life.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the thoughts as images of myself seated and self writing through typing which I immediately whisk away saying that 'its too difficult' is just another excuse I use to remain in my laziness character.

 

Within this, I  forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/view myself within and as self writing as a difficult/hard/bad task while existing as well in the opposite polarity by judging /viewing myself within and as entertainment as easy/good/relaxing task and in this I thus forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within  and as the polarity that comes with the laziness character that I play out.

 

During entertainment (TV, Internet, time with family and  or friends), I experience positive/good feelings and hence I feel superior to entertainment but I view/see/judge self writing or other physical tasks as difficult/hard/boring and within this I experience the feelings of inferiority/not good enough to tackle such tasks and therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to see realise and understand that this is still a polarity game I play within my laziness character whereby I embody the the energy highs and lows of the mind  and hence ultimately I keep on experiencing and accepting this cycle of highs and lows of energy as myself. Time to break this cycle.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the thought of an image of myself rushing through a task in a limited time and thus end up rushing myself in the actual doing of the task and by so doing, I don't do it to my utmost potential. most of the times in this, I am usually not aware of myself as all the physical movements in doing the task but rather I exist in mind backchats of doing the task just for the sake of finishing it, and thus get back to my entertainment as soon as possible. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in the polarities of negative energy by judging my tasks/responsibilities as a nu incense/bugging/negative whereas the entertainment part gives me a rush of good/positive/relaxing energy experience.

 

I shall continue with self corrective statements in my next blog.