DAY 4: TURMOIL IN PARENTAL RELATIONSHIPS

Today a play up of thoughts emerged within my mind about parental relationships. Memories, pictures, feelings and emotions that I went through at a particular point in my life in regards to parental relationships and problems, came up within my mind. Parental relationships can have lots of ups and downs and as children during this time, though not understanding much of what is going on in their world; parents most of the time if not always involve the children in their endless problems. Here is Self-Forgiveness of what I accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thoughts of those that have gone before me’s relationship problems to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have participated in the problems of parents for I realize thatparents nature of relationships from their starting point has nothing to do with the children and that their experience in their relationship towards each other is their creation in terms of what they have accepted and allowed as their agreement to be in the relationship and therefore as a child, one does not have to get involved.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to have participated in fueling the problems in parents relationships by taking sides with the intention that the other parent can learn while all this while it was just mind games of polarity that i participated in as  they played up within my mind through my judgment of who was right and who was wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged parents relationships problems based on my limited understanding of the nature of their relationship and also based on brainwashing that as a child, one accepts and allows from both parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have allowed myself to succumb into brainwashing that happens to children through each parent telling the child/ren their side of the story which was mostly blaming the other parent which in turn leads a child to choose which parent to believe and which parent to trash from a polarity based view instead of a self-honesty based view that considers all as equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have reached a point where as a child/ren sometimes even physically fighting with parents when they do not listen and make changes in their lives in regards to advice from child/ren.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for always having regarded my advice as the best solution to parent’s problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realize that, me wanting parents to take my advice was just my ego that was reaping the reward of feeling good and superior that I can give ‘good advice’ and if one not listen, one will fail.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to harbor hatred towards parents for involving children in their relationship problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to alienate myself from parents for I see them as people that cannot be trusted while in reality, its me having lost trust in myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame parents for involving children in their relationship problems which in turn makes the children feel that this ‘ruined our lives’ as children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have anger towards parents for involving children in their relationship problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the anger that I have within me towards parents relationship problems and for them involving the children.

I forgive myself that I that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realize that this anger existing with and as me is actually a self-created defense mechanism that enables me to justify why I should not take responsibility of what I accepted and allowed to happen in my world in regards to parent’s relationship problems and how child/ren played a role.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel used and abused as a child by parents in their quest to solve their relationship problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been used and abused as a child by parents in their quest to solve their relationship problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame parents for not having given children ‘good, enjoyable’ life experience during childhood as do other parents to their children, for I realize that parents do the best they know how as parents during given time considering the circumstances they face in and as the system which is a system that we have all collectively created and hence must take responsibility for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the superior inferior kind of relationship with parents, purely polarity based instead I realize that parents and I are one and equal.

COMMITMENTS:

I commit myself to stopping myself from participating within thoughts of parent’s relationship problems for I realize that they are just thoughts and nothing more.

I commit myself to working from within myself to restoring a supportive relationship between me and parents by first restoring a supportive relationship within and as myself.

I commit myself to stop myself from participating within the anger and hatred I have towards parents for dragging the children into their relationship problems for I realize now that this is really not the children’s battle at all, but rather a battle that the parents created for themselves in and as their relationship with each other as a result of what they accepted and allowed to participate within and became in their world.

I commit myself to re-defining and re-aligning my living in a way that supports a relationship between children and parents based on equality and what’s best for all.

I commit myself to stopping myself from participating within and as blame games within me towards parents that they ruin children’s lives for I realize that blame games are just mind created techniques that I use as an easy way out of facing myself and taking responsibility for what I accepted and allowed to become within myself through my involvement in parents relationship problems.

I commit myself to stop myself from giving advice based on ego as a feeling of superiority and importance and of knowing more for this is just the ego of the mind and not myself.  I instead commit myself to giving advice when asked and this advice will be within the starting point of what’s best for all no matter what, and not from my mind as ego.


I commit myself to cultivate trust in myself rather than basing my dis-trust in others which is my way of not taking self responsibility in establishing trust within and as myself.

Day 3 - SELF SABOTAGE

SELF-FORGIVENESS

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself writing as not good enough compared to others writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not good enough within my writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within comparing myself to others through my writing, limit myself and the experience of myself through self-writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the polarity of comparing and judging myself writing as less or more than another person’s self-writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realize that this self-writing is my own process of birthing myself to and as life and has got nothing to do with another ones writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my self writing statements to others statements and within this judge myself writing statements as not good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my self writing process by comparing and judging my writing to other peoples writing through the context that my writing is not good enough and hence ‘no need to write’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow resistance towards DAILY writing to exist within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to prioritize my time well and thus end up not writing by coming up with excuses as to why I do not prioritize my activities in time and also come up with justifications as to why I do meaningless activities that do not support me in myself writing process.

I forgive myself for not realizing that commitment and consistency in my daily writing is the only way I can cultivate clarity, discipline, commitment and consistency within my writing and thus my process and within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in sometimes watching lots of TV and movies during the day up to the point that I get lost in it and not realize how much time I have wasted and hence postpone my daily writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone my daily writing by always saying ‘I’ll do it tomorrow’  which in turn leads to piling up of writing which in turn leads me to go to the ‘I give up’ mode within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the myself down by me dragging behind in my 7 years journey to life process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as regret and guilt for having let myself down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project me letting myself down as me letting the group down, I  realize it is always only myself that I can let down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself through self-judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself throughout the day to a certain point where I have created no time to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to breath, stop participation within the mind and write myself daily until I clear up all mind patterns that I have accepted and allowed myself to become and live throughout my  time here.

SELF-COMMITMENT:

I commit myself to writing myself as me in and as my process and not compare my writing or my process to any other person’s process.

I commit myself to not judge myself through my self writing as it being less or more than the self-writing of another.

I commit myself to stand within and as my process of self-writing without judging myself for I realize that when I am judging myself, it is simply writing from the mind as knowledge and does not come from me as life. I realize that within life exists no judgment of any kind.

I commit myself to take responsibility of all mind patterns that I have allowed to exist within and as me as they play out in my mind in time in each moment of breath.

I commit myself to being HERE in and as every moment of breath.

I commit myself to stopping myself from participating within my mind as thoughts feelings and emotions by breathing and taking responsibility through self-writing.

I commit myself to move in this self-writing process with others together as a group through daily writing.

I commit myself to not wasting time through engaging in meaningless activities throughout the day that do not support me in my daily writing and process.

I commit myself to become consistent and disciplined in and as my daily writing in order to become consistent and disciplined in and as my process as myself of birthing myself as life into and as the physical.

I commit myself to write myself ‘today, now’ and not make excuses and justifications of doing it ‘tomorrow’.