Day 21 - LAZINESS CHARACTER - REACTIONS DIMENSION part 1

Self Writing

From and as the thought of seeing tasks like self writing/blogging/chores to be difficult and or boring, my reaction would then be that of 'boredom' whereby I end up using this boredom reaction as an excuse to entertain myself. From within this as well, another reaction that is eminent is that of lack of interest/drive/lack of motivation, I become apathetic  towards the fulfillment of my priority tasks. By connecting the thought of seeing tasks like self writing/blogging/chores to be difficult and or boring to reactions of boredom and or apathy/no interest, this then becomes the energetic experiences of boredom and apathy that I accept and allow myself to become and experience myself in and as. So within this moment see clearly that I have created a relationship of thoughts and reactions to energy from within which I experience myself as energy, I choose to experience myself as energy. This is clearly self sabotage whereby I am abdicating my responsibility to me , to that which is real as my physical responsibilities which is responsibility of me towards me that need to be fulfilled but instead I choose to live as an unreal idea of myself made of/as energy.

So infact, here from within /as the thought came a reaction/s, and within/as these reaction/s is energy, energy that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify with as me therefore becoming the very reactions/energy of my thoughts. I did not stand within the decision as the directive principle to will/change myself from being a lazy person to a person that will get done that which needs to be done, I instead entertained myself, its like, entertaining myself is an automated response of 'easineness' within/as myself that immediately use as a cover-up of the fact that I am sabotaging myself from the realization that I in a given moment, is simply existing in /as an energetic experience of 'boredom/apathy' reactions.

whenever I imagined myself seated on the couch and continuing to watch my favorite series, the anticipation of what would happen next/the suspense in the series build up in me and I just couldn't wait to get to the remote. Within/from this imagination, I reacted with great enthusiasm/excitement, I could fill it build up in me and I kind of like exploded during the moment when I was actually watching the series' episode on TV. It is clear how I in a moment from within/as my imagination switched into a positive energy experience of enthusiasm from feelings/reactions of Apathy that I had toward my responsibilities/chores through/as imagining them as difficult, boring and time consuming.

I see how within and as the laziness character, within my personality system, I participate within/as reactions like Apathy and boredom towards my responsibilities and excitement/enthusiasm reactions towards entertainment, wherein it is clear that I postpone my responsibilities for another time and choose instead to exalt energetic experiences in/as entertainment. From within this, it is clear that I view/regard my responsibilities/tasks/chores/self-writing/blogging as 'less than' the energy I
experience when I participate within/as my thoughts, imaginations and or backchats, hence remaining in my laziness and get many things undone which further leads me to a reaction of overwhelmingness from all the tasks I must fulfill and from this overwhelmingness comes reactions of apathy as well where I just view the tasks as too hard/difficult to do or too much to finish and enter the 'I give up' mode.

So it is clear how I sabotage/compromise myself and my process of self change when I dwell in laziness whereby I get very little done and postpone so much. From within this as well is the fact that not taking self responsibility to change myself into a human being that stands for life as that which is best for all in/as word and deed, is what has lead to a world full of atrocities where the dignity of life has been violated in all levels. So for all this to change, for our world to embody that which is best for all in oneness and equality, I must embrace the change and be the change of bringing a world that is best for all in/as oneness and equality. this is the process of change that I must walk and laziness sabotages my commitment in/as this process.

Next Blog: Day  22 - LAZINESS CHARACTER - REACTIONS DIMENSION (Self-Forgiveness) part 2