Writing:
Here I am writing out the internal conversations/voices in my head/backchats that come up when I am about or during the activation of the laziness character within me, during or after participating within thoughts/images/pictures or imaginations of watching TV, doing house chores, self writing/blogging etc.- I shall do this later
- I have lots of time/I still have time
- Watching a little TV wont hurt
- I need some 'me' time
- I am tired
- I am bored so let me entertain myself through TV or browsing the net or watching a movie or a series
- I shall blog/do house chores soon after I finish watching this programme/movie/series
- I shall write tomorrow, now its late
- I have too much to do now that I have a child
- I am a last minute person/I work best under pressure
This is my last episode of this series, after this, I shall do house chores/write a blog
I see how I accept and allow myself to in the moment when I am faced by real practical responsibilities/tasks/chores that need to be fulfilled, I evade/escape/abdicate/compromise this self responsibility when I instead create an alternate reality of myself in my mind through imagination and back chats, a reality that isn't real at all where I experience myself only as energy.
I see how I create a positive energy experience within/as myself when I accept and allow myself to participate within/as imagination when imagine myself seated on the couch watching TV and relaxing which leads me into even further positive energy experiences when I participate in backchats like, I have a lot of time/watching a little TV wont hurt/I need some 'me' time before the baby wakes up .
I see how I have accepted and allowed myself to, through/in the laziness character, create an energy relationship to time whereby, from my imagination of sitting on the couch with a remote in my hand end up creating backchats like, I have lots of time still, so I shall do this later or like I am a last minute person and so from within this, it is evident that I am compromising myself and my self responsibility by participating and dwelling in/as the mind through imagination and backchats thus creating and experiencing myself as just energy and not real substantial reality of like self writing by placing my hands on keyboard and typing. From this as well I see how I end up generating negative energy towards my responsibilities in regards to time in/as the mind when I within/as back chats of like oh shit, now I don't have time to do and finish my responsibilities or now I am tired or it is too late to do this now/today so ill do this tomorrow where in the end I accept myself as this negative energy and my negative energetic experiences thereof.
I as well see how, from within/as my imagination and backchats, jump/go from positive energetic experience within/as myself when I imagine of that which I want to do like watching TV which is further fueled with more positive energy through backchats like I need some me time/watching a little TV wont hurt/I am a last minute person, I work best under pressure, to the exact opposite negative energetic experiences whereby I imagine how difficult/boring my responsibilities/chores/tasks are which as well is further fueled by more negative energy from back chats like ill do this later/I have too much to do now that I have a child and all this is just an energy polarity game which I accept and allow myself to exist within/as through my participation.
Existent within the laziness character as my imagination and backchats is when I participate and hence experience myself within/as both positive and negative energetic experiences simultaneously. For instance when I have a positive imagination experience of watching TV and negative energetic experience of a backchat towards tasks of myself that I must fulfill by finding them boring or too difficult and hence the words as a sentence in my mind is: I am going to watch some TV right now as self writing/blogging is too difficult or boring and thus in this, I end up choosing doing that which fulfills my positive energy experience (though not necessary) and discarding that which gives me negative energetic experiences even though it supports me to self realize in the long run, this is purely self sabotage and leads me to remain in the laziness character.
I see that, by accepting and allowing me to exist in and as this relationship of self to energy, imagination and backchats is just self sabotage/self compromise in that I choose to remain unreal as just an energetic experience rather than be Here in and as the Physical which is real and measurable through participating and walking the whole process of practically getting done all that needs to be done in order to assist and support myself birth myself as life from the physical and bring about a world that is best for all through leading an exemplary life of/as that which is best for all in every moment of breath.
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