SELF WRITING.
After the
death of a close family member, that’s when it hit me really hard how much I
fear death. The news about the death came in very early in the morning and I
remember, my reaction was of complete shock and dumbfoundedness. I maintained this state of shock for a while
before I could actually start mourning. All I could think of was, ‘’oh shit, I
lost my brother, I’ll never see him again, nor talk to him’’. Later, I was thinking of my own death and
within me, this arose: fear of the dying process itself,
fear of losing myself in death, fear of not knowing what will happen to me
after death, fear of losing my current relationships i.e., I feel I will miss
that which I have formed a relationship with e.g. husband, family, friends,
happiness, earth life etc., fear of losing my physical body which enables me to
enjoy this physical reality, fear of losing control of myself and my life.
I
also realized that within me exists the fear of dying in specific ways: Dying through car accident, train
crash, plane crash, in my sleep, asthma, dying from a heart attack, cancer,
stabbing, in my sleep, diabetes, hypertension, stroke, bleeding, giving birth,
gun shot, drowning and strangling. Here
is what I also feared losing in relation to death; after my death: Fear of losing
my family, friends, memories, possessions, husband, not being on earth in
death, fear of losing myself in death, fear of not knowing what to encounter in
death.
SELF FORGIVENESS. On the associations and the charge of the words too.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts of
dying exist within and as me.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within
the thoughts of dying.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards
the thoughts of dying that exist within me.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have fear existing
within and as me.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fear is
real.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there’s
ever a valid reason to allow the experience of fear within and as myself.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word ‘death
with a negative/bad value.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in as the
polarity context of the word ‘death’.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word
‘death’ as ‘bad/negative’ and hence my experience thereof in and as this word.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate death with
losing myself for I realize that I am always HERE in every moment of breath and
that this ‘losing myself’ is how I have defined and lived myself in and as the
mind instead of living in and as the physical as life.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect death to fear
and thus I forgive myself for fearing my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to question my fear.
I
forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that fear
is self-created.
I
forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that when
I experience fear, I am actually only fearing myself.
I
forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that fear
is simply a pre-programed reaction, which prevents me from actually being and
living as my true self.
I
forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the
purpose of fear is to keep me from realizing myself as who I am as all as life,
one and equal.
I
forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am
responsible for allowing myself to experience fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘death’ to
fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying through
car accident.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying
through car accident’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying through
train crash.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying
through train crash’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying through
plane crash.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying
through plane crash’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying in my
sleep.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying in my
sleep’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed
myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from
asthma.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from
asthma’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed
myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying through a
heart attack.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying
through a heart attack’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear the pain of
dying through a heart attack.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of
dying through a heart attack’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to fear death from cancer.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘death from
cancer’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed
myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of
dying from cancer.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of
dying from cancer’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from being
stabbed.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from being
stabbed’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed
myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of
dying from being stabbed.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of
dying from being stabbed’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from
diabetes.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from
diabetes’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed
myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of dying
from diabetes.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of
dying from diabetes’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from
hypertension.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from
hypertension’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of
dying from hypertension.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of
dying from hypertension’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying through a
stroke.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying
through a stroke’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of
dying through a stroke.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of
dying through a stroke’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from
bleeding.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from
bleeding’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed
myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying while
giving birth.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying while
giving birth’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of
dying while giving birth.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of
dying while giving birth’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from a
gunshot.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from a
gunshot’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed
myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of
dying from a gunshot.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of
dying from a gunshot’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from
drowning.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from
drowning’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed
myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of
dying from drowning.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of
dying from drowning’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from being
strangled.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from
being strangled’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of
dying from being strangled.
I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of
dying from being strangled’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
.......
continued in DAY 6
SELF REALIZATIONS AND CORRECTIVE
STATEMENTS/COMMITMENTS IN REGARDS TO FEAR OF DEATH.....
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