Day 41: DRIVING IS SEXY - Part 1

Self Writing

The other day as I escorted someone/partner to go for a test drive, I was overly excited happy just seeing (Thought) him behind the wheel of a car. As we all walked to the driving test school, I was already thinking of seeing him drive away as I had never seen him drive before. I imagined us all going for a nice long drive in a nice convertible car on a hot summer day, I imagined the kind of car I would like us to buy/drive. This made me feel very happy. I had backchats like ‘hhhmmm, driving is sexy. This made me react in even more happiness. Physically, I felt this warm feeling that vibrated my body from my stomach area, chest rhythmically expanded and contracted, smile on my face and laughter. I was also a bit ‘jumpy’ and walked a bit faster as I anticipated arriving at the school faster so that I can see him behind the wheel looking sexy as he drove off. This is not the first time I gone through the whole of this process of generating happiness from the thought of seeing my partner drive and considering it as sexy.

Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment Statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the feeling of happiness.

I realize that that if I exist within and as the feeling of happiness, I am only limiting myself to exist as just energy and energy is not real thus I am not real within happiness as well thus I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop myself from limiting myself within and as the energetic feeling of happiness/excitement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the feeling of happiness/excitement.

Any moment I become aware of myself about to participate or already participating in happiness/excitement feelings, I shall breathe and stop myself from any participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within and as the feeling of happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that happiness exists.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that happiness only exists because sadness exists.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop participating within and as the polarity of happiness and sadness and so, any moment I find myself see-sawing between the energies of happiness and sadness, I shall breath and immediately stop myself from participating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define happiness within the thought of seeing my partner behind the wheel of a car i.e. about to drive a car.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate/connect driving a car to sex thus generating happy feelings juts by thinking of having sex in a car.

I commit myself to, any moment I find myself about to participate or already participating within thoughts that lead me to generate the feeling of happiness/excitement like for example the thought of seeing my partner behind the wheel of a car i.e. about to drive a car or associating driving a car to sex, I shall BREATH and stop myself from participating and from within and as breath, bring myself back to the physical reality of whatever it is that I am physically doing in a given moment for this is what is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define happiness within and as the imagination of seeing my family and I going for a long drive in a nice convertible car on a hot summer day and the imagination of the kind of car I would like to buy/drive.

I commit myself to BREATH and stop myself from participating in any kind of imagination from within which I react in/manifest happiness feelings. I commit myself to breathe and stop myself from participating within the imagination of seeing my family and I going for a long drive in a nice convertible car on a hot summer day and the imagination of the kind of car I would like to buy/drive for I realize that through these imaginations, I end up ‘being’ happy and my awareness of the moment is disrupted for I stop actively participating in my physical reality in awareness and shift my awareness into and my mind in the form of imagination and thus generate happiness which is not real but rather it’s a product of my imagination, and in this context, I separate myself from happiness as I define/base my happiness outside myself in, ‘out there’ within imagination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, from imagining myself going for a long drive in a nice convertible car on a hot summer day and the imagination of the kind of can I would like to buy/drive went into the backchat/internal conversations of ‘hhmmm driving is sexy’, which further prolonged/reinforced the experience of myself within and as happiness.

I commit myself to whenever I find myself about to participate or already participating within backchats that make me fall into happiness like ‘hmmm, driving is sexy’, I shall BREATH and STOP myself from participating within these backchats, for I realize that these backchats only further reinforce the experience of myself as energy in the form of happiness whereby I end up losing touch with reality of myself within and as my physical body in this physical world.

Next Blog: Day 42: DRIVING IS SEXY - Part 2