DAY 5: MY FEAR OF DEATH PRISON - Part 1

SELF WRITING.

After the death of a close family member, that’s when it hit me really hard how much I fear death. The news about the death came in very early in the morning and I remember, my reaction was of complete shock and dumbfoundedness.  I maintained this state of shock for a while before I could actually start mourning. All I could think of was, ‘’oh shit, I lost my brother, I’ll never see him again, nor talk to him’’.  Later, I was thinking of my own death and within me, this arose: fear of the dying process itself, fear of losing myself in death, fear of not knowing what will happen to me after death, fear of losing my current relationships i.e., I feel I will miss that which I have formed a relationship with e.g. husband, family, friends, happiness, earth life etc., fear of losing my physical body which enables me to enjoy this physical reality, fear of losing control of myself and my life.

I also realized that within me exists the fear of dying in specific ways: Dying through car accident, train crash, plane crash, in my sleep, asthma, dying from a heart attack, cancer, stabbing, in my sleep, diabetes, hypertension, stroke, bleeding, giving birth, gun shot, drowning and strangling.  Here is what I also feared losing in relation to death; after my death: Fear of losing my family, friends, memories, possessions, husband, not being on earth in death, fear of losing myself in death, fear of not knowing what to encounter in death.

SELF FORGIVENESS. On the associations and the charge of the words too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts of dying exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the thoughts of dying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards the thoughts of dying that exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have fear existing within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fear is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there’s ever a valid reason to allow the experience of fear within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word ‘death with a negative/bad value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in as the polarity context of the word ‘death’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word ‘death’ as ‘bad/negative’ and hence my experience thereof in and as this word.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate death with losing myself for I realize that I am always HERE in every moment of breath and that this ‘losing myself’ is how I have defined and lived myself in and as the mind instead of living in and as the physical as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect death to fear and thus I forgive myself for fearing my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to question my fear.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that fear is self-created.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I experience fear, I am actually only fearing myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that fear is simply a pre-programed reaction, which prevents me from actually being and living as my true self.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the purpose of fear is to keep me from realizing myself as who I am as all as life, one and equal.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am responsible for allowing myself to experience fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘death’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying through car accident.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying through car accident’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying through train crash.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying through train crash’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying through plane crash.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying through plane crash’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying in my sleep.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying in my sleep’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from asthma.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from asthma’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying through a heart attack.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying through a heart attack’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear the pain of dying through a heart attack.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of dying through a heart attack’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to fear death from cancer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘death from cancer’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of dying from cancer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of dying from cancer’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from being stabbed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from being stabbed’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of dying from being stabbed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of dying from being stabbed’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from diabetes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from diabetes’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of dying from diabetes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of dying from diabetes’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from hypertension.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from hypertension’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of dying from hypertension.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of dying from hypertension’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying through a stroke.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying through a stroke’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of dying through a stroke.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of dying through a stroke’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from bleeding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from bleeding’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying while giving birth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying while giving birth’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of dying while giving birth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of dying while giving birth’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from a gunshot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from a gunshot’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of dying from a gunshot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of dying from a gunshot’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from drowning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from drowning’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of dying from drowning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of dying from drowning’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying from being strangled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘dying from being strangled’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of dying from being strangled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘the pain of dying from being strangled’ to fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.

....... continued in DAY 6

SELF REALIZATIONS AND CORRECTIVE STATEMENTS/COMMITMENTS IN REGARDS TO FEAR OF DEATH.....