Day 69 - GIFTS FROM THE FARM - BREATH MOVEMENTS.

another point I would like to share here is the point of moving within breath.

one time, someone needed assistance in raking the freshly cut grass outside. so she went ahead and asked another person living at the farm for help. I noticed that, immediately, the person that was asked did not question, oblige or make and excuses, she simply say yes to the request and off she went, grabbed a rake and begun raking the grass. this is just one of the many instances that I noticed people move so effortlessly whenever it came to assisting and supporting each other in doing that which needed to be done until it was done.

For me, being a mother of 2 babies, a toddler and an infant, it is without question that life with raising babies is always unpredictable and thus, I always need to be ready in each moment of breath to move in such a way that, all that is of priority in a given moment must be done and finished without questioning or making excuses or delays. this is for example when it comes to minor incidents like breaking glass, or spilling some liquids or changing diapers, wiping vomit or burped up milk etc. these are some of the things that can happen any time with children and thus, I found it for me very important that I move within a breath/immediately after the occurrence of the event and do that what needed to be done until it was done. 

in previous times, there's are many instances that I did respond to such unexpected occurrences in my reality from within the starting point of emotions like anger, irritation, frustration and of course the backchats that triggered such emotions were; 'oh no, you did that again' 'why did you do that?' 'oh no not again' 'now I have to clean/tidy up again' 'why cant you listen/understand not to do that again?'.
So myself like many other mothers generated all these emotions when it came to fulfilling certain tasks especially when I had to do them over and over again. looking at such cenarios realistically, if its milk that has been spilt, it has been spilt, if its a galass that has been broken, its done, if its vomiting that has happepend, it has happened and therefore, I realized that, it was absolulety unnecessary for me to participate within the backchats that lead to my experience of the emotions of frustration, anger, irritation, disappointment etc. These reactions in no way change the reality of a given moment but only just make it worse for example

Day 68 - GIFTS FROM THE FARM - VOICE STABILITY.

Last year, we visited the Desteni Farm in SA. So in this blog, I would like to share one of the several points that I have realized I had been missing and turns out, it was one of the points that has and is still proving to be an absolute essential 'tool' as I walk my process. This is in regards to Voice Stability.

I remember a certain moment when I was having a conversation with one of the persons at the farm and what this person shared was that, she always checks herself to ensure that she is absolutely stable before she speaks. so I begun pondering on this point. I observed her voice tonality as she spoke and what I realized was that, her voice was always stable whenever I had communication with her. this stability was in the tonality of her voice.

I have heard of speaking within and as stability but I was never really sure within myself that this was actually me speaking in a stable tonality or it was something I was forcing/imagining and so I decided to investigate further on this point within myself. what I found out at the farm was that, it was not just one person that spoke/communicated like this, but almost everyone I spoke to so this gave me a chance to observe and learn.

so I remember one time I was by myself and I decided to play with the tonality of my voice and see what comes up, see if I would be able to actually speak/communicate from within and as such a stable tonality. After playing around, I realized/became aware this voice/sound within my chest area that was stable. what was even more interesting was that, within this voice/sound, there was definitely a stability to it while talking/communicating, within this sound/voice, the stability was coming through because I was not in any way reacting/thinking about it/imagining it like I did before. I was simply quiet within and the speaking/sounding of my voice was simply because I decided to do so/I moved myself to do so and not because I thought or imagined how the tonality of my voice should sound like. And so within this moment, I understood for myself/within myself the statement that was mentioned by one of the people at the farm on how she always made sure that she is clear within herself before she speaks, and even when she was sure she was clear, she did crosscheck within herself to make sure that nothing is moving her except herself.

So I realized/became aware of this voice/sound that has always been existent within/as me but had no access to it all the while because I was imagining how it should sound like, I was thinking how it/I should sound like and so this was in a way me forcing stability into my voice by manipulating it to sound like the one I had thought about or imagined as a stable voice tonality  instead of simply becoming this stability through living it by ensuring that I am the one who is actually directing my communication  as sounded by the tonality of my voice and not my mind as thoughts, imaginations backchats and reactions.

Another realization was the fact that, the tonality of my voice had always been mirroring who I was existing within and as in any given moment when I was talking to someone whereby, my voice tonality would change to match my reactions for example, whenever I became angry, irritated or frustrated or experienced excitement by something or someone, the pitch in my voice increased/raised as I talked, when I felt sad or moody, I lowered the pitch, so I knew that I was reacting through the reference of the tonality of my voice, what I was however not aware of/had no reference to, was how the tonality of my voice sounded like within stability i.e. when I moved myself and not movement by/as my mind. And so I am very grateful that I was able to gift myself this insight/realization through the assistance and support of the people at the farm. ever since we came back home, I have been practicing/applying/living this realization and I must say, it has been tremendous support for myself to also cross reference/check/look who I am within myself when I am speaking/having a conversation with someone.

I have been able to know instantly that I am in reaction when I change the pitch/tonality within my voice and this has assisted me as well to point out what reactions I was participating within and as and therefore apply self-forgiveness in real time. Another point I have assisted and supported myself with from within the awareness of the stability of the tonality of my voice is that, during self-forgiveness application, I am able to detect when I am reacting within a certain self-forgiveness point, identify the reaction and it has been easier to identify the other self forgiveness points that I was not
aware of.

This voice tonality stability has also been supportive tremendously in that, at times, when my voice isn't stable, I can immediately feel some subtle shifts that happen in my body that I was never aware of before especially when I am applying self-forgiveness. And so, I have decided to further keep investigating what else opens up as I apply/live this realization especially in regards to what changes/shifts manifest in my physical body due to my voice changing, how the different personalities and the reactions existent within my physical body activate and manifest within and as
the tonality of my voice.

I did share this point with my partner and asked him without probing or insinuating any desired outcome which tone of my voice he felt comfortable with if and when I talked to him by sounding different tonalities(some of them that he was used to and never liked) and he sure chose the one that I also realized was the stable tone. I have been walking this point, still  have much more walking to do and here I am sharing my realizations thus far.
 

Day 67: The Desteni of Living - My Declaration of Principle

Henceforth, I shall share myself from within and as my day to day living how I am practically walking/changing myself to stand equal to and one with/reflect my commitment to these Desteni of Living principles for I have realized that, the thus far I have come, REAL  physical change of the Life condition of this reality must begin from within self in how one lives. Thus Here is my Declaration to becoming a living example of these Desteni Principles, The Desteni of Living:

1.     Realising and living my utmost potential

2.   Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

3.   Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

4.   Self-Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realising I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others

5.   Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realising only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

6.   Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment  and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well

7.    Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self-honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

8.   With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as you would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

9.   Living the principle of self-trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self-honesty, self-responsibility and self-awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honour and stand by what is best for all and so best for me

10.  Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what is means to LIVE

11.  No one can save you, save yourself – the realisation that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone

12.  Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realise I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realisation that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today

13.    Honouring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves

14.    Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one

15.  Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honour, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

16.  Realising that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

17.  I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my living actions, become a living example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realise how we can change this world, by standing united in our self-change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth

18.  I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this living world.

19. Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realising it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath

20. Realising that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honour, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me

21.  We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realise this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without

22.  The realisation that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self-creation of a responsible, aware, self-honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23.  The realisation that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth

Day 66 - A BOUT OF JELOUSY AND ANGER.

Today, after receiving certain news, I felt anger towards myself for not being like the other person. This came about because I went into comparison where I started comparing myself to the other person and thus became angry that I am not like them, I felt inferior to them. I was jealous because I felt that they are better than me/superior to me and that, others like this person more than they like me. I also ended up reacting in anger around the people I was with. This was quite a short but intense reaction and so I shall do self-forgiveness.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to other people, after hearing news about what they have that I don’t have, from within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger because I thought of myself as inferior/less than the other person because the other person has something/has achieved something that I have not achieved and hence view them as better or superior to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with jealousy /to become jealous of another person because of something that they have/have attained that I have not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than another person because of what the other person has achieved that I have not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, through judgment, compared myself to another person because the other person has attained something that I perceive myself not to have attained and hence see myself as inferior to the other person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exert my anger to the people around me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as a failure because I don’t have/have not attained  what other people have attained.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as less than who I am when people like me less than they like another, from within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive others as more that who they really are because they are liked more than me.

Self-Realizations and Self-Commitment Statements.

I realize that, I when I began judging myself/comparing myself to another, looking at what they had/had attained that I did not have/have not attained, I immediately judged myself as less than/inferior to this person.

Any moment I find myself judging/comparing myself to another by looking at what they have/have attained that I don’t have/have not attained that lead me to feeling inferior to the other persons, I shall Breath and Stop myself from participating within such judgment and comparison, for I further realize that, who I am is Here within and as breath and no more or less than just that, and any point where I find myself going into a point of judgment or comparison as more or less that who I really am within and as breath, I shall simply breath and not participate and remain HERE.

It is from this comparison that I also became jealous of the person(s) for having something that I do not have, I felt bad that they have/have attained this something that I have not and hence the jealousy.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to, Any moment when I find myself going into jealousy because of what another person has that I don’t have, I shall breath and stop myself from participating within the jealousy.

From within this, I also commit myself to assist and support myself to see, realize and understand that, jealousy only comes about when I compare myself to others and thereafter judge myself as inferior to them and so, any moment I find myself in jealousy, I shall not only stop participation immediately but will also investigate where the jealousy is coming from and immediately apply self-forgiveness and corrective living thereafter.

 I also realize that, the anger I felt was actually towards myself for having reacted in anger that others have attained what I have not and I even went further reacting in more anger by being angry at myself for participating in all these reactions and backchats (mind energy games).

 I commit myself to assist and support myself to any moment I find myself about to react in anger, I shall immediately BREATH and STOP myself from participating within and form of anger, for I further realize that, anger is really harmful both to my myself as my physical body and to others as well, and that, reacting in anger does not solve anything, but just prolongs the problem that I currently face in the first place, thus, for me to really focus on solving physically the problem in the first place, I have to stop any of my participation anger, so that the solution can be really REAL.

Thus, I commit myself to assist and support myself to instead of going into anger reaction, investigate the problem physically and apply physical solutions like, self-writing, self-forgiveness and corrective living.

I realize that, instead of going into all this reactions, I should just breath and stop myself from participating within such mind games, that instead of reacting to what another has attained, I should instead learn from them by finding out how they attained what they attained and walk the process of attaining this very thing myself instead of reacting in anger and jealousy.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to, any moment when and as I see myself reacting to what another is/has attained, I shall breath and stop myself from participating in such reaction like anger, jealousy, frustration, sadness.

Instead, I commit myself to assist and support myself to learning from the other people on how it is that they walked to attain what they attained so that, I can walk this myself and attain this for myself as well not from the starting point of competition and wanting to be better that the other, no.

I realize that, the anger I was experiencing was anger directed to myself for not walking my process with the discipline that I ought to walk within and as, the consistency. I commit myself to assist and support myself to walk the process of becoming the real physical living discipline through and as self-writing, self-forgiveness all the way to corrective living so as to become a living example of what it means to be and live change as what’s best for all.

I also realize that, exerting my anger towards another because of my inner conflicts that I had just accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as is completely unacceptable and self-dishonest, this should simply never happen.

I commit myself to assist and support myself, to when and as I see myself about to exert my anger on another, I shall stop and breathe and will not allow myself to participate within exerting my anger on another.

I also commit myself to assist and support myself to, any moment I find myself already overwhelmed by anger, instead of exerting it on another, I shall simply move to another room and ensure that I am alone, from where I shall breathe until I am completely stable before I can again come into contact with those near me.

I also realize that, the point where I felt I had not attained or achieved something that another had achieved was a point of separation whereby I separated myself from this very point and thus, me seeing it manifest in another generated a desire within me to also want to achieve this point.

 I realize that, others liking me more or less does not change who I am and thus, using this as a reason to go into inferiority feelings is simply self sabotage from who I am in every moment Here as the stability of my breath within and as my physical body.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to see, realize and understand that who I am is not determined by how many people like me but rather who I am is simply here breathing and directing myself as my living in every moment and that, this aspect of who I am can not be more or less than what it simply is, if so, this would be a point of self-dishonesty and will require further investigation and action through writing, self forgiveness and corrective living which I shall do/apply/walk.

 

DAY 65 WHINING/NAGGING WOMAN - Part 7

SELF-FORGIVENESS AND SELF-COMMITMENT STATEMENTS Continued....

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my self-perception as an idea/reason/excuse/justification of and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to nag/whine in defense of myself as my self-perception of and as an idea/reason/excuse/justification of and as my mind because I fear losing myself as this perception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing myself and my creation within and as my mind as ideas/opinions/excuses/justifications.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to face who I am and hence fear losing as my ideas/opinions/excuses/justification, through self-honesty, self-writing and corrective application so that I can stop who I exist within and as in my mind as my ideas/opinions/excuses/justification, to a real physical being that is always here in and as breath within and as my physical body living as the directive principle of equality and oneness as that which is best for all.

I commit myself to, in the moment when I find myself whining, to immediately stop and breath and stabilize myself back to the reality of the physical as what is HERE and from here, I shall investigate myself what ideas/opinions/excuses/justification I was busy creating and participating within that lead me to whining/nagging, write them down and apply self-forgiveness and correct my living so I can finally put and stop to this whining/nagging for I see/realize that it is only through self-interest that I nag/whine indicating a living that is not best for all. This I will not accept.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the superiority/inferiority polarity game of the mind using the perception of myself as an idea/opinion/excuse/justification to establish a point of view that in my whining, I am right and others are wrong and hence I am superior to them and thus they are the ones to change and not myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose my ideas/opinions/excuses/justification, onto others that they should accept my self-perception as these ideas/opinions/excuses/justification as right and hence final.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the polarity of right and wrong.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop perceiving who I am as more or less as another though my ideas/opinions/excuses/justification. I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop using whining/nagging as an excuse to feel superior to another for I realize that, the reason I desire to feel superior to others is because, I feel inferior within myself and search for superiority in points outside of myself like whining/nagging, to fulfill my energy desire of superiority, thus keep seesawing between the polarity of superiority and inferiority as I generate energy for my minds survival. From within this, I commit myself to assist and support myself to self-honestly write myself out of whining/nagging and my inferiority complex thereof. I realize that, who I am is simply here within and as my physical breath within and as my body and thus, I do not need to feel superior or inferior to be here, and hence feeling superior or inferior simply indicates that I am not here.

I commit myself assist and support myself to end my existence as right and wrong for I realize that, who I exist as is not about right or wrong but that, who I exist within and as is and should be a principle of equality and oneness considering only what’s best for all and that this is done through living self-honesty in my every breath moment.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop imposing my my ideas/opinions/excuses/justification onto others but rather establish practical communication in commonsense whereby, I shall gather all information from all that are involved in all aspects in a given moment and from here, using commonsense and considering physical reality and what’s best for all, find a solution to a given problem/point instead of whining/nagging for I see, realize and understand that, nagging is a waste of time and will not solve the problem/point at hand and it only makes the problem/point worse/complicated and my experience within it as well and this is absolutely unnecessary.

 Another interesting point is that, I am addicted to this whiny nature of me as me. It’s like looking for those small things/situations in my environment that are not aligned to my liking and from here; I use it as an excuse to nag/whine instead of taking responsibility. I found out that, I actually thrive by creating these conflicting situations, nag about them and ensure that I come out victorious. This is actually a mental addiction that has become my very own personality character.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to end my addiction to the energies of whining/nagging through self-honesty, self-writing, self-forgiveness and corrective living so as to change my living from self-interest/best for me to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to, when something in my world is not according to how I would like it to be, instead of nagging/whining, I shall investigate the point and align it not according to what’s best for me but according to what’s best for all for I realize that, whining/nagging is of the mind and the mind will not want solutions to a problem because this will threaten and end its existence and thus the mind prefers creating more conflicts within a problem so it can keep its energy supply intact. So by aligning my living within and as the principle of equality and oneness as that which is best for all as real physical living, whining/nagging and the conflicts thereof will be non-existent and this part of me as mind will eventually die as there is no energy to sustain it. This is what I want, to become the very living principle of equality and oneness as that which is best for all life and so I look forward to my death as a mind.

Next Blogs: I shall tackle the point of anxiety by facing and writing out the points that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as that have accumulated over time into and as the anxiety that I experience myself within and as.

DAY 64 WHINING/NAGGING WOMAN - Part 6

SELF-FORGIVENESS AND SELF-COMMITMENT STATEMENTS Continued....

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as opinions/ideas/reasons/justifications, through which I perceive myself to be.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop this self-perception for I realize that this perception I have about myself is illusion and that who I really am is here within and as each moment of breath in and as my physical body in this real physical world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let who I am within and as my mind within and as the excuses/justifications/opinions that are not physicality, determine/decide who I am and what I shall live within the physical real world instead of just considering and making decisions based on physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look and live in  the physical world from within and as my mind through defining it within and as my ideas/opinions/excuses/justification instead of just looking at the physical world and living within it as is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value my minds illusions as these opinions/reasons/justifications more than what is physically here as reality.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider physical reality as the point that is real and hence direct myself from within and physical consideration but instead I make decisions considering only my minds reality that is not real/tangible because it ‘feels good’, which then creates physical consequences of discomfort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider physical reality as myself only when I feel physical discomfort because I am only interested in ending the discomfort which is simply a point of self-interest and not a point of self-honesty and self-responsibility.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop looking and living within this physical world from within and as my mind as the definitions I have of the physical in and as my ideas/opinions/excuses/justification. I realize that, my minds reality is not physical in any way and hence cannot be real therefore, I commit myself to assist and support myself to always exist within and as my physical breath in each moment and whenever I drift into mind reality of my ideas/opinions/excuses/justification, I shall breath and stop myself from participating.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to consider only physical reality while directing and moving myself within and as the principle of equality and oneness as that which is best for all for I realize, life as the physical, is reliable, consistent, stable and thus trustworthy when it comes to decision making as directive principle, hence living should happen in the physical as well, and thus, the reality of life as it exists within and as this physical world should be the only aspect of consideration during self-movement as directive principle and not the mind reality, for the mind reality is not tangible, it keeps changing from point to point hence always unstable, unreliable and thus untrustworthy to base life decision that affect all life in the mind as ideas/opinions/excuses/justification.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop subjecting my physical body to discomfort so that I can will myself to change who I am and how I exist. I realize that, this not only indicates a point of separation between who I am and my physical body but also, it shows that I am self-dishonest in who I exist within and as, which is my mind as my ideas/opinions/excuses/justification and as long as I am my ideas/opinions/excuses/justification, I shall always live separate from my physical body and thus will not have a chance of living within equality and oneness with and as my body through self-honesty and the process thereof.

From within this, I commits myself to assist and support myself to live self-honesty in every moment of breath by stopping participation in my mind as my ideas/opinions/excuses/justification for I realize that, this is the only way I can establish a relationship with and as my body in equality and oneness and thus avoid/stop subjecting myself as my body to physical discomfort which only makes my body unstable and my experience thereof.

 

NEXT BLOG: DAY 65 WHINING/NAGGING WOMAN - Part 7

DAY 63 WHINING/NAGGING WOMAN - Part 5

SELF-FORGIVENESS AND SELF-COMMITMENT STATEMENTS Continued....

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow my emotions to take over and define who I am and how I live and experience myself in a given moment especially when I am responding to someone or stating something to someone, whereby I do it in a nagging/whining way, indicating that I am possessed by my mind as the feelings and emotions reactions.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to ensure that I am stable within and as breathe within and as my physical body before I open my mouth to speak/communicate to/with someone about a point I am facing in my reality. I commit myself to communicate not from the starting point of opinions/excuses/judgments, but from common sense in consideration of what’s best for all for I realize that, communicating from opinions/justifications/excuses/judgment is actually whining/nagging indicating a point within myself where I am being self-dishonest, a point that I am not directing, not taking responsibility for, a point that I am blaming on another, a point that I am using for self-pity and hence self-defeat, and this I will not accept and allow anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to alter the stability of my physical body through my participation in nagging/whining, whereby, in my facial expression my upper and lower face ‘gringe/fold’ towards each other, sometimes I click with my tongue, sometimes my heart rate increases especially when I respond in extreme anger and lots of nagging and my body starts to shake/tremble as well, then I whine and whine and whine some more and blame the other person for making me react and feel how I feel/experience me as I experience me in a given moment.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that, the stability of my body is disturbed/altered whenever I participate within energy generation for and as my mind, energy which is resourced from my physical body hence causing its instability. I realize that the only way to always ensure that my body is stable is to stop myself from participating in my mind as the very act of whining/nagging, and that, I must always ensure that I am always existing within and as my breath moment by moment here as I live and direct my life and not allow my mind as emotions/feelings/reactions/whining to define/direct who I am.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop participating within my minds thoughts, imaginations, backchats and reactions of nagging/whining that alter the stability of my body for I realize that, an unstable body is an indication that, the result of my participation within and as my minds energy generation games has already manifested physical consequence as depicted by my experience within and as my body’s instability when my facial expression my upper and lower face ‘gringe/fold’ towards each other, sometimes I click with my tongue, sometimes my heart rate increases especially when I respond in extreme anger and lots of nagging and my body starts to shake/tremble as well, then I whine and whine and whine some more and blame the other person for making me react and feel how I feel/experience me as I experience me in a given moment. I realize that, physical consequences is also an indication that, I am already too late to stand and direct myself within and as a given point in a moment of breathe, an indication of separation. Thus, I commit myself to assist and support myself to ensure that I am the directive principle of myself/my life within each moment of breathe, handling/directing each point that I face from within and as the starting point of the principle of equality and oneness as that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play victim to my own self-deception where by, I manipulate a person or a situation to become the point of my justification/excuse as to why I nag/whine. I blame others for my nagging and once one accepts that one is the point of my nagging, I end up feeling good about myself, superior and in control of whatever situation I am facing. Once in my superior/comfort/happy zone, I then force one to take responsibility for me instead of me being self-responsible. So I see realize that, this is actually me manipulating myself and them playing victim for my own self manipulation by trapping others to take the blame.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop blaming others for my self-created manipulation whereby, I manipulate others to take the blame, from where I then see myself as a victim and hence whine and nag. I realize that, this is actually self-deception, self-manipulation, self-sabotage whereby, I accept and allow myself to dwell in self-irresponsibility instead of moving myself and facing myself within and as a point that I must walk.

From within this as well, I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop playing victim to my nagging and whining and instead, I a moment of breath, move myself and face myself within and as a point within and as the immediacy of breath.

I commit myself to not wait or postpone facing a point for I realize, this may give room for justifications and excuses as to why I am unable to face and walk a given point.

 

DAY 64 WHINING/NAGGING WOMAN - Part 6