Day 66 - A BOUT OF JELOUSY AND ANGER.

Today, after receiving certain news, I felt anger towards myself for not being like the other person. This came about because I went into comparison where I started comparing myself to the other person and thus became angry that I am not like them, I felt inferior to them. I was jealous because I felt that they are better than me/superior to me and that, others like this person more than they like me. I also ended up reacting in anger around the people I was with. This was quite a short but intense reaction and so I shall do self-forgiveness.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to other people, after hearing news about what they have that I don’t have, from within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger because I thought of myself as inferior/less than the other person because the other person has something/has achieved something that I have not achieved and hence view them as better or superior to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with jealousy /to become jealous of another person because of something that they have/have attained that I have not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than another person because of what the other person has achieved that I have not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, through judgment, compared myself to another person because the other person has attained something that I perceive myself not to have attained and hence see myself as inferior to the other person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exert my anger to the people around me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as a failure because I don’t have/have not attained  what other people have attained.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as less than who I am when people like me less than they like another, from within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive others as more that who they really are because they are liked more than me.

Self-Realizations and Self-Commitment Statements.

I realize that, I when I began judging myself/comparing myself to another, looking at what they had/had attained that I did not have/have not attained, I immediately judged myself as less than/inferior to this person.

Any moment I find myself judging/comparing myself to another by looking at what they have/have attained that I don’t have/have not attained that lead me to feeling inferior to the other persons, I shall Breath and Stop myself from participating within such judgment and comparison, for I further realize that, who I am is Here within and as breath and no more or less than just that, and any point where I find myself going into a point of judgment or comparison as more or less that who I really am within and as breath, I shall simply breath and not participate and remain HERE.

It is from this comparison that I also became jealous of the person(s) for having something that I do not have, I felt bad that they have/have attained this something that I have not and hence the jealousy.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to, Any moment when I find myself going into jealousy because of what another person has that I don’t have, I shall breath and stop myself from participating within the jealousy.

From within this, I also commit myself to assist and support myself to see, realize and understand that, jealousy only comes about when I compare myself to others and thereafter judge myself as inferior to them and so, any moment I find myself in jealousy, I shall not only stop participation immediately but will also investigate where the jealousy is coming from and immediately apply self-forgiveness and corrective living thereafter.

 I also realize that, the anger I felt was actually towards myself for having reacted in anger that others have attained what I have not and I even went further reacting in more anger by being angry at myself for participating in all these reactions and backchats (mind energy games).

 I commit myself to assist and support myself to any moment I find myself about to react in anger, I shall immediately BREATH and STOP myself from participating within and form of anger, for I further realize that, anger is really harmful both to my myself as my physical body and to others as well, and that, reacting in anger does not solve anything, but just prolongs the problem that I currently face in the first place, thus, for me to really focus on solving physically the problem in the first place, I have to stop any of my participation anger, so that the solution can be really REAL.

Thus, I commit myself to assist and support myself to instead of going into anger reaction, investigate the problem physically and apply physical solutions like, self-writing, self-forgiveness and corrective living.

I realize that, instead of going into all this reactions, I should just breath and stop myself from participating within such mind games, that instead of reacting to what another has attained, I should instead learn from them by finding out how they attained what they attained and walk the process of attaining this very thing myself instead of reacting in anger and jealousy.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to, any moment when and as I see myself reacting to what another is/has attained, I shall breath and stop myself from participating in such reaction like anger, jealousy, frustration, sadness.

Instead, I commit myself to assist and support myself to learning from the other people on how it is that they walked to attain what they attained so that, I can walk this myself and attain this for myself as well not from the starting point of competition and wanting to be better that the other, no.

I realize that, the anger I was experiencing was anger directed to myself for not walking my process with the discipline that I ought to walk within and as, the consistency. I commit myself to assist and support myself to walk the process of becoming the real physical living discipline through and as self-writing, self-forgiveness all the way to corrective living so as to become a living example of what it means to be and live change as what’s best for all.

I also realize that, exerting my anger towards another because of my inner conflicts that I had just accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as is completely unacceptable and self-dishonest, this should simply never happen.

I commit myself to assist and support myself, to when and as I see myself about to exert my anger on another, I shall stop and breathe and will not allow myself to participate within exerting my anger on another.

I also commit myself to assist and support myself to, any moment I find myself already overwhelmed by anger, instead of exerting it on another, I shall simply move to another room and ensure that I am alone, from where I shall breathe until I am completely stable before I can again come into contact with those near me.

I also realize that, the point where I felt I had not attained or achieved something that another had achieved was a point of separation whereby I separated myself from this very point and thus, me seeing it manifest in another generated a desire within me to also want to achieve this point.

 I realize that, others liking me more or less does not change who I am and thus, using this as a reason to go into inferiority feelings is simply self sabotage from who I am in every moment Here as the stability of my breath within and as my physical body.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to see, realize and understand that who I am is not determined by how many people like me but rather who I am is simply here breathing and directing myself as my living in every moment and that, this aspect of who I am can not be more or less than what it simply is, if so, this would be a point of self-dishonesty and will require further investigation and action through writing, self forgiveness and corrective living which I shall do/apply/walk.